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Sometimes you have days where you say all the right things, every joke lands, you can feel the wit dripping from your very fingertips. Cherish those days
How much you enjoy adulthood is dependent on how fast you can make a thousand dollars
I gotta learn about more shit so I can make more jokes
Me at chipotle saying “actually let’s make it double steak” after they pour the first scoop so they don’t skimp on it
one of the sad truths of time is that eventually nobody remembers what it was like to have seen so little
I always, always wanted a pool as a kid. It was my dream. When I was real young, my mom and dad got us one of those 3' deep, 12' across, above-ground jobs, and I played in it every day from the warmest day in May to the warmest day in September. Then, when I was in high school,…
It was the sig going off that spooked the ICE men.
That one of the great tragedies of life is the paradox of wisdom and age. As you become wiser about life and the world, you have less time to apply it yourselt. So you try to pass it down, but some things just can't be heard in youth. It only comes through the experience of…
This bird loves seeing a golf ball bounce on the cart path
I watched a man film his daughter's first steps and he watched it through the screen. she walked toward him and he was not there he was in the rectangle and she reached for a ghost. that is the whole thing now. we are building a perfect archive of a life no one attended
You could see the eras of goaltending shift from old school with Brodeur (stand up, hybrid) to Roy (modern butterfly). Especially with the pads… Brodeur’s tiny ones and Roy’s oversized which resemble nearly every goalie’s today. Fascinating.
when “cracked” used to mean u were good at fortnite 💔
If this doesn’t unlock a childhood memory, I feel bad for you
90 degrees in october yea this our last year in this mf ain't it
Becoming scratch or better as a working professional (and showcasing this talent at company events) will do more for your “stock” within the company than any actual work you do.
Sometimes you go to a city and it’s like. Okay yeah, I guess that yogurt company had to have a headquarters somewhere
If you woke up today and > have a job > can call both your parents > not physically ill > have somewhere to go back home to it is a good day regardless of what else is going on in the world or what you might be stressed about easy to take these things for granted
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