Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary We were thinking to ourselves, “Now, how do we help people?” Obviously by diagnosing through tweets!
We’d like to remind you that a white girl trying to spread hate during a #BLM movement is a symptom of Karenitis. If you or a loved one is also showing symptoms, please show them out the door. #JohnKrasinskiIsOverParty
Hey @mythical we heard you were having a #JohnKrasinskiIsOverParty - we just want to remind you to keep at least 6 feet from your runaway writers to avoid spreading infection. We’ll bring chips!
Maybe instead of #JohnKrasinskiIsOverParty we actually have a #JohnKrasinskiIsAHeroParty because we have enough hate in the world right now, Karen. Also, check your privilege. The exit is that way. #Byeeee If you have any other symptoms please see a doctor.
Paying to go to the Walk-In when you have weird symptoms for an unknown (and likely deadly) disease #IsARipOff. Just ask us for FREE! #TweetYourFeels
Everyone knows that an apple a day isn’t really going to keep the doctor away. We recommend at least two apples and a diet Dr. Pepper. #HealthTips #GoogleYourSymptoms
Recent studies have shown that 66.9% of health problems can be solved if we just #CancelStudentDebt. The other 33.1% would be solved by cancelling the government. #HealthTips
As we approach #FourthofJuly we want to encourage #NoSmoking when purchasing fireworks, otherwise lung issues will be the least of your worries.
It’s #FathersDay2019 and you know what that means. Don’t forget to #CheckYoSelf #HappyFathersDay
Drop any food today? Don’t forget that #FiveSecondRule to avoid a bacterial infection. #HealthTips
Did you know over 87% of symptoms are misdiagnosed because they weren’t verified online first? #NowYouKnow #SaturdayThoughts #Truth
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