Doghouse Dad
@DoghouseBlog
Father/Blogger/Black Belt in Farting/Once had to fight a Swan /Firefighter/So Very Tired http://Doghousedad.co.uk / http://FB.com/doghouseblog / http://Instagr
You might like
Hello everyone! Wanna know what's happening at Doghouse HQ? Watch this! youtu.be/FtW6aUeipR8?si…
youtube.com
YouTube
Writing My First Fiction Novel - Part One
Watching the first episode of 'Planet Earth 3' and Sir David is talking about the seals, expressly naming them as such. But my much learned wife says that they are sealions, and as much as I want to support her in her madness I just can't doubt the word of The Attenborough.
"What do you do to entertain the kids during school holidays?" Tell them that if they eat the dust particles floating in the sunlight they'll gain superpowers. Then watch them run around like Basking Sharks for a hour, trying to scoop up as much of the floaty flakes as they can.
We're at the point in our lives where, despite having to get up at 5am for work, my wife and I are watching S3 E38 of #Bluey before the kids get to see it tomorrow.. Fuck those kids, they don't appreciate the classics.
If you folks would consider subscribing to my longer form stories on Substack, that would be amazing.. doghousedad.substack.com/p/the-marmite-…
Our kids in their 20's: "Hey dad, how did you and mum first meet?" Me:
The boy has recently discovered he can play #Fortnite with his school buddies online, and now they're all in chat 'Getting Shwifty'. I think I've made a terrible mistake here.
Was making bread with the Ginger Targaryen earlier and I think she heard 'bed' when I said we were making bread, and now we have a loaf full of 3yr olds dandruff.
Right tell me something more soul destroying than when you're getting changed in front of your kids, and your three year old says, "Daddy, why have you got boobs?" It's okay, I'll fucking wait. 😐
Sitting here with the boy watching 'Captain America, The First Avenger', and Steve Rogers is still pre-Super Serum. "Sometimes little guys can be really smart!" he says, watching Steve take the flag. Then he turns to me with a serious face, "And the big guys can be super dumb"
Spent two hours building a damned mud kitchen for the littlest crotch-goblin in the boiling sun today. She played with it for ten minutes before leaving to take an important half hour phone call with a pretend friend on a red pepper she stole out the kitchen.
Highlight of the day? Seeing my good friend Alex getting absolutely creamed in the swingers with an inflatable hammer by his 6yr old son.. Poor man folded faster than Superman sorting out his laundry straight from the tumble dryer.
Me watching Peter Rabbit: "How is that flying machine stabilising? How are they steering it? How is it not getting blown away in that wind?!?" My wife: "Yeah idiot, why are the rabbits talking and wearing clothes?" Damn her indomitable logic.
Okay, help me settle a SERIOUS debate we've got going on here in the Doghouse; What do you call these, 'Slides' or 'Sliders'?
My 6yr old son just sneezed out about 4 litres of snot onto his hands, then started to lap up the sticky monstrosity like it was some kind of damned lollipop and now I have to fake my own death and start a new life away from this abomination.
United States Trends
- 1. Kevin James 3,857 posts
- 2. Bubba 32.1K posts
- 3. Bill Clinton 121K posts
- 4. Jack Hughes 1,914 posts
- 5. RIP Coach Beam N/A
- 6. Metroid 11.6K posts
- 7. #BravoCon 5,107 posts
- 8. $EDEL N/A
- 9. Last Chance U 5,273 posts
- 10. Vatican 15.2K posts
- 11. $GOOGL 20.3K posts
- 12. Wale 45.5K posts
- 13. Donica Lewinsky 2,035 posts
- 14. Oakland 10.8K posts
- 15. Hunter Biden 21.7K posts
- 16. Zverev 3,982 posts
- 17. Marlene 4,949 posts
- 18. Matt Taylor 2,737 posts
- 19. Crooks 78.7K posts
- 20. Paul Blart N/A
You might like
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.