![IncorrectJJJ's profile picture. You know what's worse than Spider-Man? YOU ARE. FOR LIKING SPIDER-MAN. ALSO THE AVENGERS. ALSO FOR LIKING SPIDER-MAN.
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Incorrect J. Jonah Jameson
@IncorrectJJJ
You know what's worse than Spider-Man? YOU ARE. FOR LIKING SPIDER-MAN. ALSO THE AVENGERS. ALSO FOR LIKING SPIDER-MAN. [Parody Account]
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Yesterday: Spider-Man is seen "saving" "lost" pigeons. Today: A bird pooped on my favorite suit. Coincidence?!? I THINK NOT
I don't condone this slander by Spider-Man and his PARTNERS IN CRIME! I am not a toilet, and have NEVER BEEN a toilet or had ANY toilet-like qualities!!!
You see a big red and blue spider in your house? You'd smash it. But one swings around our city and we're gonna give him awards??
People claim I'm crazy. A radical. A nutcase. But yet, no one can prove Spider-Man DOESN'T capture small time criminals in his webs, inject them with venom, and drink their liquified insides LIKE A NORMAL SPIDER DOES
Every year, hundreds of people "cosplay" as Spider-Man at conventions, yet despite my famously tasteful collared shirt, tie, and moustache, hardly anyone cosplays as ME, the REAL hero of our age.
How does Spider-Man do the thing where the eyes on his mask move? He's freaking me out.
"Oh, Spider-Man is so good, he saved me from a mugging", but if he's so good, WHY have we never seen him volunteering at the local soup kitchen or donating to charity?? SOMEONE GET THESE PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN AT THE SOUP KITCHEN OFF MY DESK N- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE MIC IS STIL
So. Hawkeye. Why does he use a bow? Are the Avengers so poorly funded they can't buy him a modern weapon? What's next? Iron Man with a club? Black Widow with a spear? Thor with a ha- Er, delete. Delete tweet. Do not... do not tweet?
As Halloween fast approaches, I need you all to remember something. Spider-Man is not a costume. Hes a CRIMINAL. You wouldn't let your little ones dress up as a bank robber! What? Whaddaya mean they do that all the time? WHAT IS- SIRI. SIRI, STOP RECORDING THIS IT ISNT FOR TWEE
Another Spider-Man? Spider-GIRL?? SPIDER-HAM?? DID EVERYONE GET SPIDER POWERS WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING???
I put my pants one one leg at a time, like everyone else. Spider-Man doesn't WEAR pants. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TRUST
SPIDER-MAN MADE ME SPILL MY LATTE TO INTERFERE IN A CAR CHASE HASHTAG ARREST THE SPIDER-MAN HE RUINED MY KHAKIS
Sure, Thanos wants to destroy half the Universe. But he MIGHT also destroy half the AVENGERS. Are we CERTAIN he's the villain??? In this essay I will- character limit? What do you MEAN character limit?!? SIRI CALL TWITTER INC THIS INSTANT. SIRI. SIRI DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME WHE
You may have asked yourself, "Are Spider-Man and the Avengers merely a nuisance, or a real menace?" Keep watching this space to find out YES THEY ARE BOTH OF THOSE THINGS OF COURSE THEY ARE
I've been told a man named "Tom Holland" is Spider-Man and I can only laugh because Mr. HOLLAND is an ACTOR who PORTRAYS Spider-Man. Hes a big, fake Spider-Man just like Spider-Man is a big, fake Superh- Oh GOD I NEED SOME TUMS IM GOING TO LIE DOWN
People. Its 2018. You all have fancy... camera phone whatevers. WHERE ARE MY SPIDER-MAN PICTURES.
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