i pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness
what if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again
Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.
When people say "I am done with people." Like who the fuck are you gonna talk to now, animals?
It's crazy how you can go months or years without talking to someone but they still cross your mind everyday.
I'm great in bed... I can sleep for hours.
Duct tape doesn't fix stupidity...but it definitely muffles the sound.
If someone texts "K", just reply with "L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z".
Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve. - Sincerely, students
Life is Hard; it's harder if you're stupid.
Dear twitter, you cured my facebook addiction :)
"I'm going to bed" = "I'm going to lay down and play on my phone for an hour."
My math book needs to commit suicide. It has way to many problems...
"I promise", "I am sorry", and "I love you" all have eight letters, but then again, so does "Bullsh*t".
I'm trying to be a nice person but everyone is just so stupid.
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