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I’m not an alcoholic. I’m just OCD about leaving liquor bottles half full.
Men, if you want to calm a woman down tell her she doesn’t know what she’s upset about.
I just yanked a mushroom out of the ground. I was tired of seeing it live.
I’m starting to think the whole Russia Brittney Griner arrest was just a WNBA promotion. Like this current dildo thing.
If find it interesting that the earliest dinosaurs were hunters and gatherers. Just like the earliest humans.
You gotta be a sick motherfucker to like banana taffy. I like bananas! But banana taffy? Fucking Christ, that’s Jeffrey Dahmer pederast shit. Reminds me of @Brianlovesfall
I get that the world loves Garfield. And I never miss the daily comic strip. But can we agree that it hasn’t been about Garfield for quite a few years now? They should change the name of the strip to “Jon’s a Cuck”.
Have you ever stood and watched a drying machine go through the spin cycles? I’m not sure that’s all necessary. Big waste of energy.
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