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Shelli Adachi

@Shellign19

"Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street?Resident: No, it's 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse people."


What kind of music do phones love to hear? A symphony


What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ? Getting it to fit over a bucket !


"Customer: ""How do I print my voicemail?"""


Who does Dracula get letters from? His fang club.


What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.


Who makes a million dollars a day?Someone who works in a mint.


Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room.


Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?A: They've had little use.


Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?Because they can't stop saving their work.


Q. Why do men like smart women?A. Opposites attract.


Why did the bee started talking poetry ?He was waxing lyrical !


"Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!"


Where does a vampire take a bath?In the bat-room (bathroom).


What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?


How is a judge like an English teacher?They both hand out long sentences.


How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?Somebody took a corner!


Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer.Justice: A decision in your favor.


Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!


Why do bees have sticky hair ?Beacuse of the honey combs !


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