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Mateer better be somewhere right now doing hand yoga or some shit because if we went out and landed all these playmakers outside for him & he continues to overthrow or underthrow everyone by 10 yards I’m going to swan dive off my roof
how I feel annoying the fuck out of the same 3 people everyday
Shitting in the Dallas airport and a old janitor slid a mop under the stall and said “lift ya legs up for me partner”
5 years ago, an Iggy Azalea–Playboi Carti argument was interrupted by Ye.
ive never heard a seal make these noises ever.
Nobody: People who moved to Dallas: bro you have to visit me. It’s so sick man. We have to drive everywhere but it’s sick. We have great bbq but you have wait like 2 hours for it. It’s so sick. The bars are basically all the same. It’s sick. I’m buying you a ticket. It sucks.
Brother has a May wedding in Charleston. My mom just informed the men that there will be “NO time” to play golf. “Yes mam.” Two rounds have already been penciled. Inspired to play a third out of spite
My wife does elf on the shelf for our kids. Last night she made a laser maze out of painter's tape. I went downstairs to smoke a joint. It was already late and we had some "adult time" on the line. I am 6'0 tall and 230 lbs. I have no grace. I am built and move like a bull…
niggas died for popeyes sandwiches now they 2 for 1 on doordash
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