Mostly Dead Chris
@SuburbanYokai
Non-unaliven't , but like kinda He/Him/Corpse Dead astronaut coasting around in space floting although the stars and letting my mind wander even further
Hey you old ghost bitch, why don't you go haunt a grandfather clock or something you bedsheet looking ass fuck? With your "avenge me!" bullshit? With your specter of the night ass shit?
Don't overthink it, but we were making fun of you. For hours. Relentlessly. Without shame. Like put your shit out there. Dragged you through the mud. Really disrespected your name, ya know?
My Date: "So how kinky are you?" Me: I turn the volume up on me headphones until the bar turns orange." My Date: *Bites her lip* "Oh my god..."
Yall just out here proving why I stay single, huh? Good luck with all that bullshit
"I hope this email finds you well," I say directly to my coworker before spitting the dirtiest loogie in their face
I sit at the table with my date, who is a mothwoman So tell me about yourself I say She screeches. Glass shatters. The lights go out. Somewhere a seismograph measures a small earthquake. My eyes boil in my skull as blood streams from my ears and nose. Your place or mine I say
Absolutely having a tantrum and gross crying in the corner of the room because the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse all said no to me riding their horses
Saving all the spam phone call numbers as "Big Toddy Goth GF" so that the boys think I pull hos
Luigi Mangione's last name sounds like a pasta I'm supposed cook in butter and wine
Bad news guys, we aren't doing 2025. I just got confirmed reports that it's gonna be 2024 pt. 2 Good luck
Watching someone go through the whole "Pride Goeth Before a Fall" thing and I gotta say I'm more invested than anything Netflix has put out
"Refuse the ability to come into possession of a bovine, sir" - Sart Bimpson
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