TeeJay A.O.M.U
@TeeJayRush
Grumpy old man. Random shit falls out of my head and lands here. My tweets here: https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=from%3Ateejayrush%20AND%20-filter%3Areplies&src=typd
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Accidentally putting metal in the microwave is the closest I've ever come to a near death experience.
I don't know about scary but you do look like you should be on American Whore Stories.
Pour two full bottles of red food coloring into the back tank of your friends toilet.
Words can't describe how much I love my baby boy... when he lets me sleep till eight thirty.
It's bad if I can tell you're obese from a phone conversation.
On one of my posts I typed I instead of I'd and now I can't stop thinking about the d. So I get it ladies, I get it.
Coffee. Giving you the energy to cram more stupidity into your day...
Next time a stranger talks to you, look shocked, grab them by the shoulders and whisper, "You can see me? Oh, thank God you can see me!..."
You can't be right all the time and be a likable person.
I've got 99 problems & the bitch is 97 of them, then the assholes at work, & I just finished my last Oreo. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I wanna be the one that makes you wet. * things I say to my dishwashing sponge *
Later, y'all. Me and Jameson are going to pretend today didn't happen.
Just fell and cut myself on all my broken dreams. Blood is more artistic anyway.
#IdVolunteerBut I rather sit home, eat cake and watch television. I get into less trouble that way.
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