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"DisneyNature's Bears" came out this weekend. And I mean "came out". Half the audience was confused twinks.
How's everybody's Spring Break? I got Anna & Elsa coming over for a little game of "Hide The Cheese" in the hot tub.
Boy is that a whopper. RT @BurgerKing: Whoppers make everything better.
Re: Daniel Tosh/Joe Peterno- Rape is no joke, and the rape of children is never funny. Unless the kids are clowns. Then, kinda funny.
In case Twinkies arent killing you fast enough. RT @Hostess_Snacks We're giving away 10 Transformers 3 DVDs!
...pussy. RT @BurgerKing Besides a juicy flame-broiled WHOPPER®, what are you daydreaming of today?
Venus Williams pulled out of the US Open. Reminds me of the time I fucked Venus Williams w/ no condom. #OnceYouGoMickeyYouAcheForTheDicky
My new resort in Hawaii is open. It's basically a themed recreation of a Hawaiian resort. In Hawaii. Fuck. Just now seeing the flaw in that.
Today Michael Jackson would have been 53. But only on the outside. On the inside he was an ageless creative force. Fucking a young boy.
Build a coaster around it. Raise ticket prices. #BarfMountain RT @MiracleWhip If you had a mountain of Miracle Whip, what would you do?
Who the fuck cast Nancy Grace on Dancing With The Stars?!? I don't care how many releases she signs, if she twists an ankle, we're sued.
Coach Wooden died at 99. Ninety NINE!!! ....Way to bitch out. You coulda been 100.
Mommy mice sometimes eat their own babies. Happy mothers day, mom. Thanks for NOT being a cannibalistic cunt.
Thank you, UK, for making America's electoral process seem simple and effective. England: Government via giant clusterfuck.
Prince of Persia-May 28. It stars Jake Gyllenhal... Guyllenhaul... Gylan... GayCowboy. If you question why he's not persian you're a racist.
We're testing the new "World Of Color" fountain show at DCA. No matter the music/choreography it still looks like a rainbow taking a piss.
#howtomakememad Infringe on my copyrights. Underperform financially. Refuse to swallow that skeet.
Saw Miley Cyrus' new vid. She wanted to leave H Montana behind. Dressing like a Hawkmen extra from a Flash Gordon flick is one way to do it.
@LisaaSimpson I'm not so much "following" you as I'm walking behind you checking out that ass.
In honor of Star Wars Day I'm goin to the park to ride "Star Tours" all day!!! ...Wait. ...Changed my mind. ...I'm gonna just fuck chicks.
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