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Be thankful for high prices. Parody account. Not affiliated with The Wall Street Journal.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Wall Street Journal:

WSJSatire's tweet image. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Wall Street Journal:

Editorial | Why $499/month Netflix subscriptions to fund management fees and exit liquidity for the private equity firms sponsoring the Netflix/Warner M&A deal is a good thing for the entertainment industry


Ladies and gentlemen, the Wall Street Journal:

WSJSatire's tweet image. Ladies and gentlemen, the Wall Street Journal:

Travis has been assiduously poring over Six Flags’ 10K annual report, pen in hand

WSJSatire's tweet image. Travis has been assiduously poring over Six Flags’ 10K annual report, pen in hand

I can’t top this

WSJSatire's tweet image. I can’t top this

Opinion | To defend free markets, U.S. workers must pay $20 billion to bail out a foreign country’s economy

The U.S. is in talks to provide Argentina with a $20 billion swap line to help contain financial upheaval and support President Javier Milei’s free-market overhaul, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said on.wsj.com/480vpfy



Which stage of capitalism is this?

WSJSatire's tweet image. Which stage of capitalism is this?

Replace CEOs and HR with AI


President Trump has no right to call for the Intel CEO to resign in a free market, capitalistic society. Instead, he should be bailing the company out. by The Editorial Board


Amazon signs tax cut into law

WSJSatire's tweet image. Amazon signs tax cut into law

What stage of capitalism is this?

Venmo, PayPal users can now send money to the US government to help pay down $36.7 trillion national debt, per NYP



Opinion | I am an investment banker who just sold a collateralized debt obligation consisting of 101,000 subprime auto loans on salvage title shitbox cars financed at a 38% APR to a pension fund. Allow me to walk you through how Trump’s tariffs are ruining the economy


Trump wants to focus on China, and replace aging aircraft and boats with the kind that would be needed in the Pacific theater. But he can only be considered to be rebuilding the US military when the Raytheon stock price hits $175/share by The Editorial Board

WSJSatire's tweet image. Trump wants to focus on China, and replace aging aircraft and boats with the kind that would be needed in the Pacific theater. But he can only be considered to be rebuilding the US military when the Raytheon stock price hits $175/share

by The Editorial Board

We deserve a recession

WSJSatire's tweet image. We deserve a recession

Which stage of capitalism is this?

WSJSatire's tweet image. Which stage of capitalism is this?

Opinion | Shareholder rights are human rights


We’re like 24 hours away from “Pakistan and India are fighting because China hates our freedoms”

WSJSatire's tweet image. We’re like 24 hours away from “Pakistan and India are fighting because China hates our freedoms”

This cost $11,000

WSJSatire's tweet image. This cost $11,000

Stocks soar as US President tells corporations they can keep using Chinese slave labor instead of paying Americans market wages for another 90 days in sign of healthily functioning economy

Breaking: Stocks shoot higher after President Trump posts about a 90-day pause on some tariffs. The Dow is up more than 1,900 points. on.wsj.com/3FXJ76X



Opinion | Is the S&P 500 a meme stock now?

INSANE market action right now. Market exploded higher on a headline attributed to Kevin Hassett. And now nobody can figure out where it came from and the markets are diving again. An 8% surge and then a 3.5% plunge in a matter of seconds

TheStalwart's tweet image. INSANE market action right now. Market exploded higher on a headline attributed to Kevin Hassett. And now nobody can figure out where it came from and the markets are diving again.

An 8% surge and then a 3.5% plunge in a matter of seconds


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