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I run every day for 20 minutes & if I miss a day, I add 20 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to run for 4 months.
this is the kind of timeline I want. how do I turn off images and bluecheck screeds
“You’re absolutely right: that was a fatal dose. My apologies.”
my Uber Repo driver retrieving my stolen raising canes chicken combo
making an app for when your DoorDash driver steals your order that allows you to hire a second driver to steal it back
Washed my sheets today. God it’s so nice having clean sheets. It’s a shame you only get to do this once a year
RAM prices are $800 so that your dad can send you this with the caption “lol”
My wife gasps and tries to tell me that the two concepts are entirely unrelated, but it’s too late, I’ve already synthesized them into a unified theory
Someone wished me Merry Chrysler, but I didn’t have the heart to tell them I celebrate Toyotathon, so I just said Happy Honda Days.
“Holy shit babe, the Department of War just shot down Santa’s sleigh off the coast of Venezuela!!”
I think I’m watching the wrong movie bruh
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