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for someone who loves to sleep so much you’d think that i’d go to bed earlier
Summoned her ass like Thor to his hammer. Iktr. 😭😭
he doesn't even, like, get us, man
whats the funniest scene in film/tv show? like the one you can watch hundreds of times and still laugh about it
being intimidated by your girls vibrator is insane. why are you scared of your sous chef...
This is my favorite type of corny. I have been laughing for 5 minutes now
hey sorry i can’t come today i have to watch six straight hours of law and order SVU
what’s that film that you love? the one about the f* hairdresser, the space haidresser & the cowboy. the guy, he’s got a tinfoil pal & a pedal bin. his father’s a robot & he’s f* f* his sister! LEGO! they’re all made of f* LEGO! #StarWarsDay #MalcolmTucker #PeterCapaldi #ttoi
Girlfriend: oh my gosh, battle scars I love it Me, having my hairline traced: babe, please.
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