Pet Bird
@derp_ex_machina
I love life and life loves me.
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Do you ever eat carrots and then wonder if it was worth the effort?
An Open Letter to Everyone Writing and Sharing Open Letters on Social Media: Can we just maybe not. Sincerely, Probably Most People
Has anyone else been getting Hamilton and Hamlet mixed up? Just me, okay
I found this necklace in my stuff and I can't tell if it's a lord of the rings charm or a saint medal and so I can't throw it away
Whenever I spend money on my car or any other necessities I'm always like well that was a waste
My defroster is a mystery to me. I just push all the buttons on my dash until the windshield clears up or I crash into something/someone
If your life is falling apart, one piece of duct tape over your mouth should hold it together.
Whenever I drink out of public drinking fountain I think: "I wonder how many people have peed in this?" But so far it hasn't stopped me.
Accidentally just put all of my recycling into the garbage aka just killed some sea turtles I am so sorry love you Crush
Why don't they make bobby pins disposable because then we could lose them without feeling regret. Also keys. And phones. And cars
Four years ago, I fell off a treadmill. I still think about it sometimes.
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