derp_ex_machina's profile picture. I love life and life loves me.

Pet Bird

@derp_ex_machina

I love life and life loves me.

You might like

Do you ever eat carrots and then wonder if it was worth the effort?


An Open Letter to Everyone Writing and Sharing Open Letters on Social Media: Can we just maybe not.  Sincerely, Probably Most People


Has anyone else been getting Hamilton and Hamlet mixed up? Just me, okay


I found this necklace in my stuff and I can't tell if it's a lord of the rings charm or a saint medal and so I can't throw it away


Whenever I spend money on my car or any other necessities I'm always like well that was a waste


My defroster is a mystery to me. I just push all the buttons on my dash until the windshield clears up or I crash into something/someone


"I'm feeling like a man right now."

derp_ex_machina's tweet image. "I'm feeling like a man right now."

Just found a bunch of stamps so today was a success


Pet Bird reposted

If your life is falling apart, one piece of duct tape over your mouth should hold it together.


Whenever I drink out of public drinking fountain I think: "I wonder how many people have peed in this?" But so far it hasn't stopped me.


Accidentally just put all of my recycling into the garbage aka just killed some sea turtles I am so sorry love you Crush


I really don't like the weird pieces of chicken.


Binge watching the fireplace on Netflix. #lit


Why don't they make bobby pins disposable because then we could lose them without feeling regret. Also keys. And phones. And cars


If I go hiking by myself will I die? Jk of course I will. #nature #adventure


Four years ago, I fell off a treadmill. I still think about it sometimes.


United States Trends

Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.