jebthedoggo's profile picture. procurer of nose exhalations

Jeb๐Ÿ‹

@jebthedoggo

procurer of nose exhalations

๊ณ ์ •๋œ ํŠธ์œ—

ME: just found out thereโ€™s no such thing as updog FRIEND: whats updog ME: nothing FRIEND: ME: ME: i just explained this


Jeb๐Ÿ‹ ๋‹˜์ด ์žฌ๊ฒŒ์‹œํ•จ

*AA meeting* group leader: the first step to recovery is recognizing you have a problem, which โ€” me: *standing up as batteries fall out of my pockets* I donโ€™t think Iโ€™m in the right place


Saw a Hawaii license plate today. Tf.


ME AT OLIVE GARDEN: When youโ€™re here, youโ€™re family MY STEP-SON: Iโ€™m still not calling you dad


Is anyone else mad that when a sitcom character tries to sound like theyโ€™re saying something complicated in Spanish they always throw in the word โ€œlibraryโ€? or am I just hyperfocusing?


What if you go camping and take a dump in the woods with your buddy and thatโ€™s how you find out heโ€™s got a wombat butthole and poops in cubes


Jeb๐Ÿ‹ ๋‹˜์ด ์žฌ๊ฒŒ์‹œํ•จ

becca: *fries beans* rebecca: *refries beans*


real quick, are collagen shots something you drink or am i an alcoholic


PUBLISHER: yeah no the story is fantastic HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON: then whatโ€™s wrong PUBLISHER: I just think the title could use some workโ€” HANS: Listen here, The Gargantuan Fucking Mermaid will be a timeless classic


I know this might be controversial but if you eat the marshmallows last in a bowl of lucky charms then youโ€™re a bottom


Kids who screamed whenever the power would go out at school are conspiracy theorists today.


I tried decorating a cookie and it looks like a bunch of worms and turds assembled together to make graffiti Merry Christmas everyone

jebthedoggo's tweet image. I tried decorating a cookie and it looks like a bunch of worms and turds assembled together to make graffiti

Merry Christmas everyone

Once upon a time, my siblings and I saw the preview for Cars, and we all thought Materโ€™s actual Christian name was โ€œDag Gumโ€. Man we were stupid.


Bob Rossโ€™ full name is:


ME: *tweets* YOU: *confused* ME: sorry I couldnโ€™t think of anything and thereโ€™s like nothing good in my drafts YOU: *scoffs* *keeps scrolling*


United States ํŠธ๋ Œ๋“œ

Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.