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When you are craving sushi and then you eat sushi… that’s a top 5 human experience
me: is this vegan friendly? waiter: idk dude, he's your friend
“sorry I responded to this in my head” is a real thing and we should say it
"How about a two week lockdown?" "No thank you. I'll take two years of constant disruptions and case surges"
i be like “long story short” then still tell the entire story
"it's 77 but it feels like 85" ok then we need a new system for interpreting what the temperature is because only one of those numbers matters
i have so much good karma saved up from the amount of times i’ve filled up a brita
now that we’re older can we all admit that turkey is the worst meal at thanksgiving????????!
there is nothing that bell peppers, onions, and garlic can’t do.
My favourite pictures from the G7 summit.
Me: ok that's everything in the dishwasher *presses start and turns around* Teaspoon: you're not gonna believe this
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