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how i arrive to his house vs how i leave
when girls jump to conclusions and they end up being right😭
If you have bridge jumped in the des plaines river you’re immune to the corona virus
"enjoy it!!!!! these are the best years of your life" this.... is the best!??!!?!? 😭
got my outfit picked out to wear to the living room thursday
i finished my shampoo and conditioner bottles at the same time and also perfectly shaved my knees. if you need me i’ll be buying a lottery ticket
me: “i’m gonna start saving my money” my friends: “lets go out to eat today” me:
i’m going to make myself a chart like parents do for kids except i get gold stars for things like “not pressing snooze 5 times” “didn’t get mcdonald’s on the way home from work” “drank 64oz of water” then i add up all my stickers for the week and that’s how many whiteclaws i get
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