mark_odlum's profile picture. Writer, humorist, woodworker, cluster-head, husband, & dad of two. Desperately seeking a nap. @WGAEast member.

Mark Odlum

@mark_odlum

Writer, humorist, woodworker, cluster-head, husband, & dad of two. Desperately seeking a nap. @WGAEast member.

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I feel like I’m being judged by Paul Simon right now...

mark_odlum's tweet image. I feel like I’m being judged by Paul Simon right now...

All I really want from an airline is a flight tracker.


You know you’re getting older when you stay in the dairy section of Costco a little longer because it feels good on your knees.


What are they doing with all the leftover food Dumbledore “is creating” for meals at Hogwarts? Really surprised Hermione isn’t all over that. #HarryPotter #hogwarts


I feel like my hand modeling days may be over. Thumbs, apparently don’t like bending in the wrong direction.

mark_odlum's tweet image. I feel like my hand modeling days may be over.  Thumbs, apparently don’t like bending in the wrong direction.

I just had breakfast, yet I’m physically incapable of leaving Costco without having a hotdog and soda for $1.50.


I interviewed Ryan about his battle with chronic pain for the US Pain Foundation. Like many others, his story is both frustrating and yet extremely hopeful. Onward. invisibleproject.org/ryan-drozd/


You are all cordially invited to my 1980’s blooper party! But, does anyone have a VHS player I could borrow?

mark_odlum's tweet image. You are all cordially invited to my 1980’s blooper party! But, does anyone have a VHS player I could borrow?

I was asked to join a mens basketball league, but sprained my ankle while thinking about it.


Ohhhhhh, that’s why painters wear white.

mark_odlum's tweet image. Ohhhhhh, that’s why painters wear white.

How does one go about suing Paul Rudd and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” for stealing my look from 2002?

mark_odlum's tweet image. How does one go about suing Paul Rudd and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” for stealing my look from 2002?
mark_odlum's tweet image. How does one go about suing Paul Rudd and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” for stealing my look from 2002?

Just put a suit for the first time in 3 years and found a cocktail napkin and shrimp tail in the pocket.


I was a guest on the Jason Hennessey Podcast. We talk about writing, comedy, woodworking and treating cluster headaches with psilocybin. So it’s Good times for all.

mark_odlum's tweet image. I was a guest on the Jason Hennessey Podcast. We talk about writing, comedy, woodworking and treating cluster headaches with psilocybin.  So it’s Good times for all.

Mark Odlum reposted

Oh look! (But listen ;) it’s my voice!


I keep hitting control/alt/delete but nothings working.

mark_odlum's tweet image. I keep hitting control/alt/delete but nothings working.

I want the dark Superman movie where he’s quit helping people and is just making millions selling meteorites.


Had to Uber to the Costco entrance from my parking spot.


I have no idea what the Ralphs Rewards gas pump just asked me. But it had something to do with how many gallons in units of ten I’d like to purchase, and then how I’d like to allocate my reward points in increments of .10 and .20 cents in the month of June and then month of July.


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