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@michdoesntexist
le sigh, we cringe on
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idgaf if i post the same tweet twice. if it crossed my brain a second time, it’s still funny. who cares
ok well
I am saddened to learn of the passing of former Vice President Dick Cheney. Vice President Cheney was a devoted public servant, from the halls of Congress to many positions of leadership in multiple presidential administrations. His passing marks the loss of a figure who, with a…
as a man what do you after losing your girl of 10 years
Big Sean and Jhene Aiko have reportedly broken up after more than 10 years together
The president held a Great Gatsby themed black tie party at Mar-a-Lago tonight, hours before 41 million Americans lose the government assistance to buy groceries due to the ongoing shutdown:
Trump and Rubio at the Mar-a-Lago Halloween Party, on day 31 of the shutdown. Official theme is Gatsby and ‘a little party never killed nobody’, we’re told.
i think my issue with seeing the “costumes” that younger celebrities come up with is the fact that they’re all afraid to get ugly. they care more about having a palatable “fit” meanwhile supermodel and victoria’s secret angel heidi klum is out here looking like a disgusting freak
The media industrial complex would have collapsed on itself like a dying star if a Democratic president held a Roaring 20s themed party at a private golf club while millions of working poor in America were about to lose access to food aid but w/Trump it's fucking crickets.
Dancers at Trump’s Halloween party as people begin losing food stamps under his administration
“ethical billionaires”
Netflix subtitles be like [speaking Spanish] BRO 😭 translate it thennn!!!!
Singlehandedly ending a movement. Doing god’s work.
Our kids hate our Halloween costume.
Cmon man. No one even posts this anymore. For days prior to 9/10 this shit was everywhere. And then vanished overnight. Now Trump’s finally been able to move past the only thing I’ve ever seen him sweat—Epstein. That’s why he’s been on one lately, you can tell he’s feelin himself
This is called your brain
📁 Matthew McConaughey says he wants a private LLM, fed only with his books, notes, journals, and aspirations, so he can ask it questions and get answers based solely on that information, without any outside influence.
shoutout to my partner’s exes. you all fumbled the personification of a sunbeam walking among us
Sneaking suspicion that we’ll get some mileage outta this line unfortunately
Trump’s FCC Chair Brendan Carr indicates that Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension is part of Project 2025’s plan to regulate free speech. Carr helped write Project 2025 last year.
that one religious track in every paramore album:
My favorite thing about my new apartment is the ominous giant cross about to break through the wall
hayley cheesing so hard her eyes disappear because of course
Our bad.
2025 starts with WTF (Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday). The last time that happened was in 2020. We're probably going to be fine, though, right?
They took it off Tubu. Weeno got sold to Disney. Gumpy hosts PragerU videos now. Pheebo took it down for a tax writeoff. It’s not on Poob. You can’t watch it on Poob. Poob doesn’t have anything for you.
fascism is here and you can no longer find your favorite shows and movies on Poob. it’s not on Poob anymore.
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