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I spilled coffee on myself. I heard it stunts your growth, I sure hope not.
All the best NBA highlights I see, have the Cavs on the receiving end. Hurts a little bit
Jordan to waitress: Do you guys have pepsi products? Waitress: Yes we do Jordan: Uuhh I'll take a coke
The most adult thing I've done since graduation is hurting my ankle at our company softball game 💯
Ok. I just look up smartwatches on a computer at work, and then I get an ad on Instagram for the same watch. Coincidence?
S/I to Arlene Sommers for getting me gas ⛽️ at 1:30 AM cuz I’m just irresponsible. Much appreciated. And to Loondog for chillin w/me @ school till she got back wit it
*Jordan describing a horoscope*: It’s that thing you look into to see the stars right? Kobe: No it’s that thing you you twist. #knowyourscopes
Yesterday I was standing by one of the security guards at the state game. I was wearing my Cheaper By the Dozen shirt And he’s like “Cheaper By the Dozen huh.” I’m like “Yep.” Then he says ”A dozen what? A dozen donuts?” And then goes absolutely bonkers.
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