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My wife has just bought one of those mood rings, when she's in a good mood it glows orange but when she's passed off with me, it leaves a red mark in the middle of my forehead
Another sad day for magicians worldwide. Rest In Peace, Wayne Dobson. You will be missed by so many. God bless you. You truly was an inspiration to everyone you met. Sleep well x
Took the mother-in-law to the pub last night cos they had a saggy tits competition. Not only did she win, but she wiped the floor with them
3026 years from now, it will either be really good or really bad...it's 5050
Taking part in the Poynton Arts Festival this evening, raising funds for Maggies Cancer Charity @MaggiesCentres £5 per person payable on the door
Q. What did St. Patrick say to the snakes as he was driving them out of Ireland? A. Are you all OK in the back there lads, does anyone need to stop for a pee. No, we're not nearly there yet. Now stop asking questions and let me concentrate on the roads Happy St Patrick's Day
I used to be in a band called Missing Cat...You might have seen our posters!!
I wrote a crime thriller about 3 female detectives in Lancashire, but there wasn't much call for chorleys angels
Picasso was burgled and he did a drawing of the robbers. Police arrested a horse and two sardines.
You sir / ma’am, have won the fucking internet for the month 🎖️
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