Things to bring on a date: -chapstick -open mind -backup chapstick (in case you lose one) -tertiary chapstick (you never know) -chainsaw (to distract her from the fact that you said “tertiary”) -4th chapstick
“She’s a lot” You’re right. I’m a lot of woman. With a lot of layers. A lot of personality. A lot of dreams. A lot of ideas. A lot of strategies. A lot of emotions. A lot of love. Yeah, you’re right. I am a lot.
it just hit me that 5 years ago i was in high school and they were asking "where do you see yourself in 5 years" and i want you all to know i was very wrong
This is Pixel. She was photographed before and after being told she’s the best girl in the whole wide world. 13/10 suspicions confirmed
I’m sick of coffee I want whatever theater kids consumed that made them act like that at 8am
Crazy how only 0.000002% of the American population decided to work really hard so that they could become billionaires. Can't believe everyone is so lazy
HI TWITTER CAN I SHOW YOU THE PAINTING I DID
No idea where my son learned an ostrich stuck his head in the ground, but he decided to demonstrate that for us in the corn pit when we went to CM Farms! 😂
hey TSA how you gonna take my toothpaste cause it’s “too big” but let me board with all this ass?
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