stormcatghostchaser
@squirrel_baits
heavy coffee drinker, movie lover and music listener ....can't wait for hell to freeze over
You might like
"I'm the Dude, man" The Big Lebowski. We discuss on Episode 59! Look us up, Listen in.
[At Work] *looks at clock, sees it is 1 1/2 hours until lunch* Me: Welp, no time to start anything now.
Hold on to your britches I'm @ing everyone tonight. You want dirt? Add me to your DM group. I'm all in
Don't worry the bees aren't dying. I have been collecting them in my basement - they now do my bidding in 2018 Beeman's rise to power begins
9 years ago I locked my lawnmower on go & set it free it's still out there somewhere one time I saw it in a field it has a wife and kids now
I'm at work. I suppose I should do something.
Where there's cake, there's peace. Where there's peace, there's happiness. Cake is eternal peace, happiness, and perfection.
the bad news is I spilled hot sauce on my sweatshorts but the good news is I'm still the sexiest guy at this funeral
*slides note to baby* IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR NOSE AGAIN EAT ALL YOUR VEGETABLES AT DINNER TIME. WE ARE NOT FUCKING AROUND.
remember when MTV played music? remember being a kid? remember faith in humanity before weeds of despair filled the cracks of our souls?
Waiter: All done with the nachos sir? Me: Is there any cheese on the plate? W: Yes, a little M: *leans in* Then Im not fucking done yet
My wife's wrestling name is the "Dream Crusher"
My wife's wrestling name is "The Financial Terrorist"
If you order an ice tea in Long Island or a piece of toast in France, you get the same thing: disappointed.
first day as a wedding photographer and i totally blow it by asking the bride and groom to politely tone it the fuck down
Date - "I've always wanted to go to Egypt" Me [trying to impress her] "my dad is one of the pyramids"
It's the freakin weekend, find a witch, have her turn you into an owl & fly as far as you can from here.
United States Trends
- 1. Alysa Liu N/A
- 2. Bloomington N/A
- 3. Megan Keller N/A
- 4. Indiana N/A
- 5. Indiana N/A
- 6. Punch N/A
- 7. Canada N/A
- 8. Sony N/A
- 9. Kaori N/A
- 10. Bluepoint N/A
- 11. Gold N/A
- 12. #PremioLoNuestro N/A
- 13. HILARY KNIGHT N/A
- 14. #inwx N/A
- 15. #USAHockey N/A
- 16. #Olympics2026 N/A
- 17. Hammond N/A
- 18. Toy Story 5 N/A
- 19. Team USA N/A
- 20. USA USA USA N/A
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