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We’re at the airport and Samuel was just playing with my suitcase. It fell over and the handle hit him on the face and he started crying. I told him I’d spank the suitcase for being bad. He said, “No daddy, don’t spank him. He’s a good suitcase.” The kid has a sweet heart.
this works. i’m not even gonna front. retweeted one of these yesterday and got an email for a job interview this morning.
How many of you can say your idea of fun as a child was climbing on hay bales and jumping from one to another
Date a blonde, love a blonde, marry a blonde
there is a service dog in the union & i went to go print some stuff off and he came up to me and wrapped his body around me and the woman asked if i am anxious or have a test because the dog SENSED IT AND IS TRAINED TO HUG PEOPLE WHO ARE we don’t deserve them omg
Really wish I was jamming to Mariah Carey Christmas music with @JMunsch13 rn
fireman: ok so we extinguished the house fire me: did u bring the Dalmatian fireman: what? we just saved your life me: where's the dog
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