All The Single Lady
@ATSLblog
Tweets from a single gal's perspective. Because they say write what you know...oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh
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Some days I'm certain I'm a catch and other days I spend £17.50 on a lipstick only to realise I've been sold one exactly the same colour as my natural lip. #idiot.
YASSS Clas Ohlson. You feel my distain! Anyone else adding this to their wish list??? @LucyGoesDating @UnluckiestDater @aDatingDad 😂😂 #Valentines
Happy Valentine's Day single Tweople! Read as: 'Ecstatic Valentine's Day is pissing off for another 365 days'.
Girl meets strange guy in bookstore. Girl buys curtains. The end. I decided to rewrite the plot of #You #Netflix
Happy New Year. Maybe this will be the year someone reels this sexy fish in, AMIRITE?
Sorry couples you get romantic dinners, and presents for doing fuck all and spa breaks. Llamas are staying with me so BACK OFF
Is @RitaOra 'Let You Love Me' a super delayed response to Mario's 2014 hit 'Let Me Love You?'
Everyone is missing the point over the Kleenex Man-size rebrand, which is that 'Extra Large' is a piss poor rebrand. I'd have gone with 'Honking Great Big Ones'. #honkhonk
There's sex robots on Tinder now? Oh great, even more competition. dailystar.co.uk/real-life/7370…
I've been patiently asking the universe for a chance encounter with the lad I can't get over, for weeks. Today I happened to be on the same bus as his girlfriend. The universe is a right piss artist sometimes.
Shout out to all my single Twitter ladies - Remember, if Piers Morgan can find someone to procreate with, you DEFINITELY will. #WednesdayWisdom
Hey blob fish face - you paid good money for that horseface.
Know what's weird? I don't know anything about Princess Eugenie's hubby. It's almost as if he wasn't under intense media scrutiny in the build up to the wedding.
Not impressed with #GBBO vegan week. Don't do it if you're gonna just take the piss out of us. We have our mates for that.
Tinder is Berocca for loneliness. You know it's not going to cure anything, but you swig it anyway to be proactive.
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