Alacta's profile picture. 21 years old MIS student

Alacta

@Alacta

21 years old MIS student

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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.


Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.


It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!


A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation.


Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's drunken 16-year-old daughter on your lap.


You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.


Lifes Tough, get a helmet!


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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.


My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.


Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.


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One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool.


Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.


The shortest distance between two points is under construction.


What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.


The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.


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