AlbertaHumorist's profile picture. Knock Knock...

Alberta Laughs

@AlbertaHumorist

Knock Knock...

It's daylight savings, and I'm a little dyslexic, so I just turned my cock black an hour.


Alberta Laughs reposted

Instead of saying "I'm going to be honest," people should say, "I'm about to say something shitty."


Alberta Laughs reposted

STAND-UP COMEDY defined...'Success thru levels of built up failure'


@grandeniam you're sad because you don't look like Emma Watson? So are all your exes.


Alberta Laughs reposted

I prefer girls who enjoy reading. It takes the stress out of breaking up with them via text.


During a meeting at work today, someone asked me to define foreshadowing. "The skin that covers the tip of the shadow" was not correct.


See what happens when everyone gets rights. The #Superbowl in New Orleans, with a team from SF, HT show by beyonce. Who's next, the Jews?


The only thing I hate about the #superbowl is when people keep telling me what they're going to be doing instead of watching the #superbowl.


Alberta Laughs reposted

Ontario: turn off the real news and tune in to us! An all-new super-funny episode of 22 coming up at 8:30. Who's ready to laugh?


Alberta Laughs reposted

Tonight: Women besides Demi Moore allowed in combat. #GIJane #neverforget 11/10c.


Alberta Laughs reposted

How do you tell a four-month-old they are fat without hurting their feelings?


Alberta Laughs reposted

If I ever kill myself I'm going to frame my neighbor's cat for murder.


Alberta Laughs reposted

Check out the Poets' Haven Reading Series, every monday at Upper Crust in Edmonton. strollofpoets.com #yegarts #yegwriting #yegpoetry


Alberta Laughs reposted

The REEL Challenge Contest – @cfccreates - Win $7,500 for the most innovative & dynamic animation or comedic short bit.ly/Vm3tts


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