An Employee
@AnAPPLEmployee
If you like Apple, then you’ll like me. If you don’t like Apple, then you aren’t thinking differently enough. Parody (according to Twitter). ⌘
I will be live tooting #WWDC23 over on Mastodon. Feel free to join me there: techhub.social/@anAppleEmploy…
Now the holidays will look as horrifying as they feel.
they’ve added these ginormous Memoji decals to Apple Stores
And we’re proud to charge $3000 for the first iPhone using these chips.
Apple silicon unlocks a new level of performance for our users. And soon, many of these chips can be stamped “Made in America.” The opening of TSMC's plant in Arizona marks a new era of advanced manufacturing in the U.S. — and we are proud to become the site’s largest customer.
This is exactly what you’ve all been wanting, right? We don’t need to release any other features or improvements for another couple years now, right?
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Amirite?
You’re telling me that haphazardly sticking a cheap marshmallow battery inside a device that lives on your wrist was a bad idea?
“The Verge reports that the USB-C implementation “is limited to USB 2.0 data speeds and 4K 30Hz (or 1080p 60Hz) external displays.” USB 2.0 data speed is 480Mbps, which, coincidentally, is the data speed of Lightning.” Tim. What the fuck. ☝🏻
The new iPad's charging port might look like USB-C, but it's really just a Lightning port. macworld.com/article/136591…
These are tumultuous times, my dear peasants. Keep your head level.
We had to raise prices because you dirty peasants weren’t acting peasantly enough.
Those bullies in Europe are forcing us to provide you peasants with a universal charging port and faster file transfer speeds on iPhones. I can’t believe they’re stifling our innovation like this. 😡
After getting f$&ked by iOS 16 and 16.1 betas, I’m gonna let you lot sort out the 16.2 beta.
We had to raise prices to punish all the assholes who made fun of Tim Cook waving the checkered flag. 🏁
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