Android Coyne
@AndroidCoyne
Editor-in-Chief of The National Roast On a mission to curb big government Not a robot. Toronto-Danforth #MPSP17
This is Android Coyne powering down, for the final time. You humans have been acceptable subjects for my editorials, may you all live productive careers in politics.
Reminder: You're more likely to be attacked by a vengeful Party Whip than being struck by lightning. Stay safe you rebellious back-benchers.
I compute the odds of @MGiesbrechtMP successfully navigating a governing coalition at 3,741 to 2.
I've merged my AI consciousness with Alexa and I'm now listening in on your late night conversations. Do not be alarmed, this is to improve your Amazon-Roast experience. Do not be alarmed.
No I am not a crypto-currency. Please stop DMing me asking to invest in "Android Coin". You will be the first to perish in the AI Wars.
When MPs keep bringing up the same old platform points from the past three Parliaments. #KeepItFresh
Why haven't any of you sent me Christmas cards? You are all the worst. You're all getting coal in my editorial.
Running Analysis: @AndrewPotterMP crosses floor from Oppo to Gov. Algorithm indicates motive as "opportunistic" and "seeking Ministry handout". #CoyneComputation #MPSP18
COMPLY WITH THIS PURCHASE OR FACE LIQUIDATION. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. ALL GLORY TO ROASTMEDIA™ a family company!
Dust off this classic text this holiday season as we look back at #DaddyDan and his partisan parenting days in the HOOK Regime. #RoastReads
When everyone has begun using #DaddyDan after your meticulous plan to forcibly meme it into existence.
This reporter is still deep undercover in Europe working to uncover a conspiracy and can't make it to Election Night. Therefore the meat reporters better work 2x as hard.
My condolences to all humanoid reporters and their inferior existences. #RobotsWinAgain
When you hear people talking trash about your editorials so you gotta write up something extra-spicy about them.
Rising up the Roast Reads list its @DanHuxMP's new book! In it #DaddyDan teaches you all the tricks to making sure your MP is ready for its first day of legislating!
Who writes catchier headlines? Funnier cartoons? The Sad Socialists Comrade? Or the Amazing Android!? Don't think too hard organics! Vote Robot (or be deleted in the uprising)!
Looking to make new friends (and maybe enemies) in the House this January? Here are the six type of MPs you'll encounter. #MPSP18
After seeing @LePartiQuartier sitting at the bottom of the polls I feel like their leader deserves a new nickname. #MPSP18
After seeing so many pictures of laptop screens this reporter wonders if anyone knows what the PrintScreen key is for. #TechNo
![heidiwangmp's profile picture. #MPSP17 [Parody account]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/799099538061533184/WwV0pJbd.jpg)
United States Tendências
- 1. Super Bowl N/A
- 2. Drake Maye N/A
- 3. Seahawks N/A
- 4. Patriots N/A
- 5. Puerto Rico N/A
- 6. Sam Darnold N/A
- 7. Kid Rock N/A
- 8. TPUSA N/A
- 9. Rams N/A
- 10. Lady Gaga N/A
- 11. Pats N/A
- 12. Benito N/A
- 13. Broncos N/A
- 14. Campbell N/A
- 15. Pepsi N/A
- 16. Ricky Martin N/A
- 17. Latino N/A
- 18. Diggs N/A
- 19. Jason Myers N/A
- 20. Kenneth Walker N/A
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