AndyPitz's profile picture. Dad, comedian heard on Sirius XM Ch 98 / 97. my fav comedian right now is Paul F. Tompkins. Most interested in comedy, wellness and friendship.

Andy Pitz

@AndyPitz

Dad, comedian heard on Sirius XM Ch 98 / 97. my fav comedian right now is Paul F. Tompkins. Most interested in comedy, wellness and friendship.

Pinned

We are in the honeymoon phase of our divorce


Andy Pitz reposted

I’m not sure what I just watched but I love it.😅😂


Andy Pitz reposted

I just pardoned my mother.


People still make references to putting such and such "on speed dial" which is just so funny and great. It may never die


In 2024 people are upset about what a newspaper is not doing.


"The world is watching", like we care what they think all of a sudden


Andy Pitz reposted

1970: Wow the future is gonna be awesome 1980: the future is gonna be awesome 2024: The 70’s and 80’s were awesome


"I hate kids" says more about you than kids


Status: Still no idea what I'm doing but getting a lot better at it


Andy Pitz reposted

If we’re going to continue to along these lines, shouldn’t the man who impregnates a woman who dies because she couldn’t get an abortion be tried for murder?


The best movie James Earl Jones was in is Coming To America #zamunda #king


Having the thought while meditating "I'm not very good at this..." is exactly why I need to meditate


Shaving with a straight razor is really fun if you enjoy visualizing your own murder about 40 times first thing in the morning


Just yelled at this guy "Hey watch where you're going"

AndyPitz's tweet image. Just yelled at this guy "Hey watch where you're going"

If I ever text you "too funny", most of the time it means not funny enough


Someday I won't mind snide comments on my battery life when I send screenshots. But for now it pisses me off


Email "It's time to re-order checks!" I have enough to last me until I'm 235 but thanks


Tip: pause after typing hahahah to make sure it didn't change to HAHAHAH before pressing send


Not sure why they're called "tweens"but this week my 12 year old daughter made out with a boy in his basement and also got a ballon after her dentist appointment.


How the hell should I know? Does anyone?

AndyPitz's tweet image. How the hell should I know? Does anyone?

New record: was awake for almost 45 minutes today before hearing the word "game-changer."


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