Aperture Science
@ApertureScience
Aperture Laboratories | Science Innovators
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To improve our phone service, we’ve installed an auto-responder that provides 2 minutes of awkward silence before responding “no”.
It’s #TriviaTuesday! What is the most interesting thing about the number 8? Losers will be given to the winners as prizes.
Jealous of your chameleon? Don’t be! Our omnidirectional eye socket replacement procedure can expand your horizons — literally!
We’ve discovered a substance that causes irreversible damage to a person’s ability to comment without thinking. The internet is doomed.
Performing a few experiments today. Hoping for success, but science is an optimistic pursuit; if they fail it's not the end of the world.
Qualifications are only half the battle. The rest is mostly waivers, disclaimers, and NDAs.
Never underestimate the power of pulleys in large numbers.
You always reap what you sow. Unless you sow our new dimension jumping beans, in which case the reaping part gets a bit confusing.
Due to depressingly high demand, we have in fact made some action figures. Doing our part to thin the loser herd. #unkindersurprise
Aperture Science enrichment action figures! Available now in stores nowhere at all, because action figures are for losers.
If you know or are an albino person, please contact our recruitment department. We’ve developed a new chemical we’d like to inject you with.
There’s nothing like some staff re-structuring to wrap up the summer. Maybe we’ll try inverted noses again. Those were fun.
Nine times out of ten, our experiments produce nothing but more experiments. The other time, they typically produce cauliflower. Science!
Aww look, they’re catching up. Let’s have a round of applause for science!
Perfected a method of remote tooth extraction today. Testing 100% successful. Uncertain of who or where the subject was. Clean teeth though!
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