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6 hours into quarantine and my knob looks like a fucking alan key
If you’re gassed about 2 weeks of self-isolation you’re either a bum or got the wrong job
If I had shows to play I’d play them. It’s all good people saying about look after each other,I’ve got kids to look after and if I don’t play I don’t have income. As much as it’s a passion it’s w job and an income. People shouldn’t be giving Darius shot for doing his job.
If you’re one of those giving me grief for doing my job last night please also go give Teachers, Waiters etc grief too... there is no difference,we just doing our job When told not to, we will stop Ps, im going to do what the countries Chief Scientific advisor says not you!
so heartwarming to see a country coming together during a crisis
Fraser asked me to send him a picture of my passport and I got all excited thinking he was booking me a holiday - 2 mins later I received an email from Sky Bet thanking me for completing their verification process. Bastard. Sick a this.
coronavirus is just a distraction from bigger issues at hand like fat lasses that still wear leggings and people that send streaks on snapchat
£136 to get to Leeds cuz my railcard was out of date. When I say I hope the ticket inspector finds his mother’s corpse burnt when he walks in tonight I mean it. Div mong
RIP Mullet, gone way too soon and an absolute top lad❤️😔 Life is a cruel fucker
Hannah has absolutely fucked it there. Took £5000 off the total, never answered a thing in the final chase and then she reckons the most venomous spider is a fucking daddy long legs. Criminal. #TheChase
Well played Hannah in the Chase. Took the minus offer and was crucial in standing there like a mannequin in the final Chase and give a wrong answer at the crucial time. Bravo. #TheChase
just asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. she smiled and said yes. shoulda seen the look on her face when I ran off with her cardboard box. 1-0 carl.
Think that’s one of the finest roasts I’ve ever seen
What did you seize ?? A fucking arcade ? 😂😂😂
Top gear but when they used to do the road trips across Vietnam in a £100 car falling to bits SLAPS differently 🤣
Can’t wait for love island to drop the new islanders, Anton won’t no what’s hit him the muppet
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