Ted Eric Eschliman
@AuthenticTed
Retired music retail/owner. Now, to conquer the world of commercial real estate.
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Farnsworth hurt his back so we helped take down his Xmas decorations. With its last breath, his long-serving Christmas tree shat itself all the way to the trash can.
#blandinos Lactose Intolerant? You’ll love our Macaroni No Gratin!
Plant-based food options are taking over my grocery store’s frozen section. Like a weed.
Friday. No masks at the gym and we can finally get back to the Old Ways. Sharing head colds and foot fungus again.
Two ways to Unity: 1) Listen. Compromise. 2) Stop listening. Obliterate the Opposition.
Things they minimize counting in Las Vegas: 1. Cards 2. O.J. Simpson Memorabilia 3. Ballots
Got a little overexcited finding skimpy little stringy loungerie buried deeply in the clean laundry basket, then I realized it was just a COVID mask. #Cstring
Me to my 12 yr old self: When you’re in your 60’s, you’ll be buying, frying, and eating Brussels Sprouts. 12 yr old self: So at what age do I go completely insane?
Tripped over my flip flops, but then again, they are by very definition, an imprecise form of footwear.
Me: A simple tall black coffee, please. Starbucks Drivethru Barista: Anything else? Me: The last 18 minutes of my life back, please.
My dentist’s robocall telling me it’s time to schedule my 6 mos checkup is annoying, but it does remind me to start flossing again in preparation.
It’s not pain and needles that discourage me from getting a tattoo. It’s my fear of vivid colors.
3 mos ago, germ worry at the gym shower was getting Athlete’s Foot. Now I’m concerned about killing Grandma.
Really not sure how I feel about getting emails in the middle of the night from my new smart dehumidifier.
This classic Yogi Berra quote takes an oddly ironic Covid turn. "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."
Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.
United States Trends
- 1. Dabo N/A
- 2. Blades Brown N/A
- 3. Wendy N/A
- 4. Royce Keys N/A
- 5. Pete Golding N/A
- 6. Notre Dame N/A
- 7. Jassi N/A
- 8. Rivers N/A
- 9. Lobo N/A
- 10. Stacey N/A
- 11. Deion N/A
- 12. #FursuitFriday N/A
- 13. Ryan Wedding N/A
- 14. #TheFive N/A
- 15. Talon N/A
- 16. March for Life N/A
- 17. Nate Oats N/A
- 18. Jemele N/A
- 19. #WinterStorm N/A
- 20. ryan ross N/A
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