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GetAwkward

@AwkwardPlano

GetAwkward reposted

Johnny Depp lost his virginity at the age of 13 in the back of a van.


What do you call a drunk blonde? A cab.


Yo momma so fat. She is at serious risk for heart disease.


Every 60 seconds in Africa A minute passes.


What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.


You are so gay that you Enjoy having sexual relations with other men.


How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.


How do you stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick.


What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and an eye patch. Names.


I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis.


Yo momma so fat Your father no longer finds her attractive and now their relationship is in danger


Why did bobby drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus


So a man walks into a bar And he slowly starts tearing his family apart with his serious alcoholism


Why did I cross the road? I don't have the cognitive capacity to reason, therefore it was random


Tom has 50 candy bars, he eats 45 what does he have? Diabetes, Tom has Diabetes


Follow @autocorrects for hilarious tweets!


Sub for a kindergarten class, paid to eat cookies and color all day


Friendzoned,found out she had herpes


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