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Nothing like a Jamison mixed with Jamison to start the shift
God I'm drunk. Time to pull over some speeders. #justice
WANTED: ONE MANNY MACHADO FOR ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON
@Rharvley Depends on how many criminals I chase that day.
EVERYONE GET OUT OF THE WAY IT'S AN EMERGENCY. LOL JK JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE SITTING THROUGH THAT LIGHT
Citing him for reckless endangerment and vandalism for that dunk. #nationalchampionship
LOL how's it feel to be stuck in traffic? #aintnobodygottimeforthat
Definitely wouldn't be solving any murders if I lost leads like the #Orioles
I'm giving a ticket out to the next person I see texting in the front row. You look like an idiot on TV.
If I dropped the ball that many times I'd get paid leave. #Orioles
I hate having to wear this dumb fucking hat. It's like I'm an urban pope.
See this whistle? It means I can step in front of your car while you're going 40mph.
@Justin98Rock If I could give tickets for mean mugging, I would.
@MontyyNoel How should I "cop on"? Are you drunk? I'm searching your car.
No, I didn't see that guy going 100mph in front of you. Just kidding, you were easier to pull over.
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