Friend of Bill W.
@BigBookMessage
Carrying the message of hope from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Posting passages once daily from the Fourth Edition.
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* Posting from AA Big Book, 4th Edition, Personal Stories: “Because I’m An Alcoholic,” p 338-347 This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, “Why?”
I read everything I could about this disease I have. My readings recounted the course I had lived and predicted the way I would die if I continued drinking. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
There was laughter in those rooms and sometimes tears, but always love, and when I was able to let it in, that love helped me heal. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
I learned that I didn't have to stop drinking forever, but just not pick up that first drink one day, one hour at a time. I could manage that. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
I listened to their stories and found so many areas where we overlapped - not all of the deeds, but the feelings of remorse and hopelessness. I learned that #alcoholism isn't a sin, it's a disease. That lifted the guilt I had felt. #recovery #sobriety #alcoholic #odaat #aa
And I did. For weeks I sat in the back of the rooms, silent when others shared their experience, strength, and hope. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
Someone greeted me and I muttered my name aloud. Someone brought me a cup of coffee. People gave me their phone numbers and urged me to call, to pick up the telephone instead of a drink. They were warm and friendly. They said keep coming back. #recovery #sobriety #odaat #aa
She told me the symptoms of alcoholism, and I had them all. She gave me a list of A.A. meetings and recommended one. I went to that meeting, a small women's group. I was scared and in withdrawal. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
When I asked her if I was an alcoholic, she said that from what she'd seen of my drinking I might be and suggested that I talk with her boss, Terrified, I made an appointment and kept it. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
The therapist told me then and there to call someone who had been in our therapy group, a doctor on the staff of a hospital alcoholism service. "I'll call her tomorrow," I said. “Call her now." He handed me the telephone. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #odaat #aa
I've said it thousands of times since then, and with gratitude. What I was most afraid to admit that evening was what would set me free. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
My resolution had endured three days and I protested, "I’m not an alcoholic!" That was my very last denial. “Say it the other way," he suggested. "I am an alcoholic." It came out in a whisper, but it sounded right. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #aa
A few days later in the group, the therapist said, "You're drinking even more than I realized. You're an alcoholic. I think you should stop drinking, see a doctor, and go to A.A." #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
I had left the therapist who hadn't been able to tell me why I drank, and on New Year's Eve, I went to a party at the home of my new therapist. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
In spite of managing to stay dry that time, I have no doubt that resolution would have crumbled like the others and I would have been drinking again if I hadn't found A.A. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
Hands trembling, body shaky, head splitting, I survived that first day until I was fairly safe in bed in an alcohol-free apartment. Somehow I made it through a couple more days, miserable in withdrawal. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
I made another New Year's resolution - to stop drinking entirely until I could handle it and then, I told myself, I could go back to wine and beer. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
My worst fear was that I was an alcoholic. I wasn't sure what that was, except that I might end up down on the Bowery in New York, where I had seen drunks curled up on the sidewalk. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
The horrors grew. Inner horrors. On the surface it looked as though I was more or less keeping it together, but day by day I was dying inside, filled with fears I couldn't name but which shook me to the core. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa
There were liquor stores just about every block, and I rotated them so the salesmen wouldn't know how much I drank. On Sundays when the liquor stores were closed, I had to make do with beer or hard cider from the grocery. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #odaat #aa
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