BigBookMessage's profile picture. Carrying the message of hope from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Posting passages once daily from the Fourth Edition.

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Carrying the message of hope from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Posting passages once daily from the Fourth Edition.

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* Posting from AA Big Book, 4th Edition, Personal Stories: “Because I’m An Alcoholic,” p 338-347 This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, “Why?”


I read everything I could about this disease I have. My readings recounted the course I had lived and predicted the way I would die if I continued drinking. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


There was laughter in those rooms and sometimes tears, but always love, and when I was able to let it in, that love helped me heal. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


I learned that I didn't have to stop drinking forever, but just not pick up that first drink one day, one hour at a time. I could manage that. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


I listened to their stories and found so many areas where we overlapped - not all of the deeds, but the feelings of remorse and hopelessness. I learned that #alcoholism isn't a sin, it's a disease. That lifted the guilt I had felt. #recovery #sobriety #alcoholic #odaat #aa


And I did. For weeks I sat in the back of the rooms, silent when others shared their experience, strength, and hope. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


Someone greeted me and I muttered my name aloud. Someone brought me a cup of coffee. People gave me their phone numbers and urged me to call, to pick up the telephone instead of a drink. They were warm and friendly. They said keep coming back. #recovery #sobriety #odaat #aa


She told me the symptoms of alcoholism, and I had them all. She gave me a list of A.A. meetings and recommended one. I went to that meeting, a small women's group. I was scared and in withdrawal. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


When I asked her if I was an alcoholic, she said that from what she'd seen of my drinking I might be and suggested that I talk with her boss, Terrified, I made an appointment and kept it. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


The therapist told me then and there to call someone who had been in our therapy group, a doctor on the staff of a hospital alcoholism service. "I'll call her tomorrow," I said. “Call her now." He handed me the telephone. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #odaat #aa


I've said it thousands of times since then, and with gratitude. What I was most afraid to admit that evening was what would set me free. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


My resolution had endured three days and I protested, "I’m not an alcoholic!" That was my very last denial. “Say it the other way," he suggested. "I am an alcoholic." It came out in a whisper, but it sounded right. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #aa


A few days later in the group, the therapist said, "You're drinking even more than I realized. You're an alcoholic. I think you should stop drinking, see a doctor, and go to A.A." #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


I had left the therapist who hadn't been able to tell me why I drank, and on New Year's Eve, I went to a party at the home of my new therapist. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


In spite of managing to stay dry that time, I have no doubt that resolution would have crumbled like the others and I would have been drinking again if I hadn't found A.A. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


Hands trembling, body shaky, head splitting, I survived that first day until I was fairly safe in bed in an alcohol-free apartment. Somehow I made it through a couple more days, miserable in withdrawal. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


I made another New Year's resolution - to stop drinking entirely until I could handle it and then, I told myself, I could go back to wine and beer. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


My worst fear was that I was an alcoholic. I wasn't sure what that was, except that I might end up down on the Bowery in New York, where I had seen drunks curled up on the sidewalk. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


The horrors grew. Inner horrors. On the surface it looked as though I was more or less keeping it together, but day by day I was dying inside, filled with fears I couldn't name but which shook me to the core. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #12Steps #BigBook #odaat #aa


There were liquor stores just about every block, and I rotated them so the salesmen wouldn't know how much I drank. On Sundays when the liquor stores were closed, I had to make do with beer or hard cider from the grocery. #recovery #sobriety #alcohol #alcoholic #odaat #aa


With my attempts to cut down, I stopped keeping alcohol around the house, drank up whatever was there, over and over deciding not to get more. Then on the way home after work or an evening out, I'd have to see if I could scrape together enough money for a bottle. #sobriety #aa


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