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“I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought... but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. ‘Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof.’ Who gives a rat's ass?”
Sometimes I get extra ice, even when my drink doesn’t need it, just for my dog to get a cube.
who is going to tell the millenials it’s time for them to step into their roles as cookout hosts, aunties, and leaders of the electric slide 😭
Threesome? No thanks. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once I’d take my parents to dinner.
I haven’t seen the car behind my cars headlights my entire drive to work (we’re both in a non-passable line of traffic) and I am so damn tempted to get myself a new car.
neeed them to tell me I have good veins when i’m at the doctor’s office it’s imperative that I get a good grade in Patient
Sometimes when I need a good cry, I watch finales to shows that are near and dear to my heart.
My platform will be: I figured I'd be dead by now, but since I'm not it's time to turn this bitch around
We’re bowling for a friends birthday party… I just want to know what happened in your life to come to a bowling alley’s bar.
oh you’re in love? that’s cool i’m in debt
I know like *real life, serious stuff* but Rick and Morty is about to be ass.
Little that our government does should still be classified after 6 years. And nothing after 60 years.
I want a game show where you bring various celebrities to a grocery store and have them guess what the items cost.
Alone at an empty bar so currently living vicariously through the waitress loudly spilling her tea to the bartender.
Just trimmed my dogs nails but if you’d ask him, I was spending this Sunday committing a war crime.
Some 16-year old just rolled up on our dinner trying to fight a waitress… dinner and a show? Sign me up! 💀
In endless pursuit of a shoe that can only be described as orthopedic but slutty
United States Trendler
- 1. #WWERaw N/A
- 2. Arizona N/A
- 3. Tony Padilla N/A
- 4. Maple Grove N/A
- 5. Bovino N/A
- 6. Finn N/A
- 7. Zverev N/A
- 8. Brayden Burries N/A
- 9. El Centro N/A
- 10. Jrue N/A
- 11. Lee Majors N/A
- 12. #TheRookie N/A
- 13. Learner Tien N/A
- 14. Kimi K2 N/A
- 15. Rob Wright N/A
- 16. Highguard N/A
- 17. Homan N/A
- 18. Punk N/A
- 19. Jaxson Hayes N/A
- 20. Wrigley N/A
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