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Bridget Davies

@BridgeetoTweeto

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Lockdown is so isolating that I just waved to a snail on the other side of my window. This Twitter will now simply be a record of my descent into madness


Is it sad or empowered to watch the move ‘How to be Single’ while trying not to hear your flatmate have sex


I just sat down in a silent dentist waiting room on a sofa that was softer than expected and went “OOH SQUISHY”


Bridget Davies reposted

This is an insane comedy line up so I recommend grabbing a $20 ticket right now TBH @EliMatthewson @JamesMustapic @Musicalgal03 @dlcorreos @BridgeetoTweeto @utherlives @edamoned undertheradar.co.nz/gig/80738/Muck…


My toxic trait is observing driving mistakes and saying to myself “ooh they’d fail their restricted”


How’s my love life? I just spent $45 on cat treats


A dog just smiled at me. Who needs people


Omg just got unmatched with after telling a guy I do comedy. Not sure if he’s an asshole or just smart


Having Grandpa Simpson’s kidneys exploding as a core childhood memory makes long car trips more stressful


Bridget Davies reposted

Found out I was making 20% more than my coworker so we spent lunch drafting an email for her to renegotiate her contract. Talk about your pay!!


Bridget Davies reposted

If you thought it was bad having your songs used for hold music, wait until they’re used to repel protestors


Imagine how short every crime series/movie/documentary etc would be if men listened to women when they said they knew something


I like how Twitter emails me to let me know how many people saw my tweet so I know how many people didn’t like it


If you don’t say “you loosened it up for me” when someone gets you to open something for them, you’re a dick


Accidentally ordered delivery ubereats instead of pickup and now a man is driving food to me from literally next door


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