Dank
@CP_Dank12
I climb tanks for a living & get tanked on the weekend. HUGE FAN of 2.5 or the 3 major H town teams (looking at you Texans) I miss my mom everyday
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I just watched THE BEST documentary on weed! I will definitely watch all other documentaries this way from now on
Someone asked me if I was interested in going to a yoga class with them I told them “Namaste Here”
Normal Twitter people: “Here’s my opinion and/or stance on a certain situation” Other Twitter people: “Y’arent ready for what I have to say…If you want to hear it though, DM me Also Others: “I have a complete solution to the problem…I’ll share it with 1000 likes”
I never in a MILLION YEARS would’ve thought coaching Coach Pitch with 6-7 year olds would be so cut throat…. They don’t understand who they are trying to pull this on though, so let the fun begin
I would love @joerogan to invite @TheoVon @tomsegura @bertkreischer and @bobbyleelive all on his podcast. The hilarity that would ensue would be mind blowing!! #2Bears1Cave #TPW #TigerBelly #jre
Hello everyone, long time no see! I was at the park waiting for y’all to come smoke some with me and you never showed up….
I really hope parallel universe me is living a better life than I am. If he isn’t….damn
Me going to sleep last night: Body: “I’m freaking BEAT!” Eyes: “I feel so heavy” Mind: “What was the name of that band that sang Your Woman? That song was pretty banging. Did I turn my office light off? I don’t think so. That transmitter better come in tomor…WHITE TOWN
Men, If a girl ever says that she wants ONE thing and it starts with a P and ends with an S…. Go but her some pajamas…. Because 9/10 that’s what she is referring to
Life Hack: Don’t fell like being at work and just want to leave? Shit your pants! Works EVERYTIME!
I don’t think anything can ever be as relaxing as when someone drew on your back while you were sitting criss cross applesauce in elementary school
They said it would take a man six hundred years to tunnel through that crowd. Old Astros fan here did it in by the third inning
🎵One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong, can you tell which thing is not like the others by the time I finish my song?🎵
Been here less than 30 minutes and it’s WAYYYY over the Over
At the San Jacinto County Fair Over/Under is 15.5 on # of mullets I see Where the money at??
At the San Jacinto County Fair Over/Under is 15.5 on # of mullets I see Where the money at??
Walmart has ALL their employees checking receipts at the door looking for people stealing. It’s just a matter of time before they start with the pat downs and prostate exams. Put me on payroll if I have to do a job you pay your employees to do! #SMH #WeGonnaSteal
People who commented on this have OBVIOUSLY never seen Any Given Sunday! *You can give my $50 to charity*
At the San Jacinto County Fair Over/Under is 15.5 on # of mullets I see Where the money at??
You can tell exactly how strong you are by how weak you feel when you are supposed to be your strongest…..
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United States Trends
- 1. Seahawks N/A
- 2. Seahawks N/A
- 3. Sam Darnold N/A
- 4. Stafford N/A
- 5. Vikings N/A
- 6. McVay N/A
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- 9. #RHOP N/A
- 10. Puka N/A
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- 12. #BaddiesUSA N/A
- 13. Drake Maye N/A
- 14. gerard N/A
- 15. #AKnightOfTheSevenKingdoms N/A
- 16. Mike Macdonald N/A
- 17. Xavier Smith N/A
- 18. #IndustryHBO N/A
- 19. #NFCChampionship N/A
- 20. Demarcus Lawrence N/A
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