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blocking her number aint enough I need that hoe to be plagued by a generational curse
You may have moved on in a month, but I've had fake conversations of you coming back for years so
Walked by a crossfit gym today and caught a look through the window. What are those freaks doing in there?
When she half mentions she could go for some domino's and cheesy bread so you start makin moves
"This person in the service industry appears to be stressed and overworked...I should probably yell at them."
My dating life can be summed up as the episode from The Office when Kevin thought Holly was in to him but she was really just being nice because she thought he was mentally retarded.
Mentally, I'm the hobo from the ep of Hey Arnold when they were stuck on the subway and he kept yelling at them to get out of his house.
*leans unnecessarily close in to Walmart intercom mic* ...It's Britney Bitch.
That's awesome. My mom just beats my ass.
When the squad comes to roast you but you've been holdin back some heat for every last one of them
*babe putting leftovers in fridge* Her: DO NOT EAT THIS Me: lol chill, ain't nobody want your scraps Me at 2:32 a.m. :
When it's been 23hrs and your crush hasn't watched your snap yet
When she says she loves you to death but hasn't even tried once to kill you in your sleep.
My punk ass everytime one of those extended Publix commercials come on
When you diet and workout for 6 months and somehow still gain 80lbs
If you don't have a secret shrine of me in your closet, what kind of future can we even have?
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