Captain Puff
@CaptainPuff
I invented Reese's Pieces cereal by combining Peanut Butter Captain Crunch and Cocoa Puffs.
Captain Puff says: @ubykotex boxes have very basic instructions for their pads. How's a guy supposed to figure anything out?
Captain Puff says: I try to have an eye opening experience EVERY - SINGLE - DAY...usually around 7:30am, and with an alarm sounding.
Captain Puff says: I don't have friends in high places, but I do have high friends in...places.
Captain Puff says: An engagement ring should cost three months of a man's salary. Weed should not. Smoke more skank.
Captain Puff says: Having your younger sibling DD for thanksgiving eve + finding out they smoke = Best. Thanksgiving. Ever.
CaptainPuff says: When I smoke alone on my porch, I'm sad at first because I'm smoking alone, but then I'm happy because I'm high.
CaptainPuff says: When it comes to masturbation, my right-hand man is actually my left hand.
CaptainPuff says: Remembering that you're watching a dvr'ed show is the most awesome realization in the history of realizations.
Captain Puff says: Sex rape is bad but smoke rape is okay. When someone forces smoke upon you just let it happen.
CaptainPuff says: When high, walking even short distances can be taxing. Drive more - pollution is an issue for people that are not high.
Captain Puff says: satellites are only cool if you smoke weed.
Captain Puff says: HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS
Captain Puff says: Smoke prior to working. A leisurely pace will be appreciated by coworkers; excessive productivity elicits resentment.
Captain Puff says: Sports are dangerous. Avoid physical activity and smoke more.
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