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Y’all always joked about me havin chicken nuggies stacked in the freezer. Whose laughing now huh.
What is it about men older than 65 thinking it’s okay to sneeze aggressively into their hands? #dudenexttomeonmyplane
Billy Corgan riding a roller coaster. This is the greatest thing in the world
Hey guys quick announcement, I’ve decided to retire from the sport formally known as “Mixed Martial Art” today. I wish all my old colleagues well going forward in competition. I now join my former partners on this venture, already in retirement. Proper Pina Coladas on me fellas!
Retweet for a shot at Free Boneless Wings for a year! Get a raffle ticket every time you come in this week for a chance to win Free Boneless Wings for a Year! 5 Free Fried Pickles for a Year prizes also. #itcouldbeyou
My dad told me he wouldn’t last longer than 6 hours as a character in the movie ‘A Quiet Place’ because he wouldn’t be able to hold his farts in
Whenever I accidentally put body wash on my hair in the shower, I feel like I just ruined my hair for the day:/
It seems like the @ArcticMonkeys are doing everything they can to keep me from seeing them again #cometoKC #please
Our new album Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino will be released on May 11th, 2018. Pre-order special edition vinyl & CD: smarturl.it/ArcticStore Further pre-order options: smarturl.it/TBHCOrder
What kind of parent names their kid black Chicago student
Advances in Colon Cancer Cure, Discovered By a Black Chicago student.
You know you haven't used Facebook in awhile when you don't even recognize yourself in your profile pic 😬
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my best friend!!! Sorry it’s a Monday 😕 love ya to pieces 💙 @Carson_Gilli (we will celebrate soon)
Iphone 8 is coming in the mail today, finally resolving my problem of my phone crapping out 12 times a day
Getting a text from your mom saying "Your iPhone 8 will be shipped on the 22nd!" >>>> #applegang
I signed up to fight Nazis 73 years ago and I'll do it again if I have to. Hatred, bigotry, & fascism should have no place in this country.
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