Cat (wearing the mask again)
@Catonkeys
Reader/gardener/programmer/mom, obsessed w/repurposing. Rarely brilliant/always weird/often silly. My opinions are my own 'cept when I steal 'em. I QT dogs.
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USA: Well, this handbasket just reached terminal velocity...
Ice dispensers are great if you want one or 1,000 ice cubes.
You know her as the woman with a thousand tramp stamps. I know her as one of my best friends, a kind, thoughtful, bright, witty, wonderful woman that I wouldn’t be the same without. Please wish my darling @henchbeaver a happy birthday!!!
You break it, you buy it - Divorce lawyer
8:40 pm: My entire neighborhood burns down. 8:30 pm: ME: Honey, it doesn't MATTER which extension cord you use
I don't wear pajama bottoms. I just wear a zzz top.
I hope you fall in love* and never get out. *a well
Wash your hands! Don’t touch your face!
I don’t want to die on any hill. That’s a lot of climbing.
2019: I work in an office. 2020: I work from home. 2021: I҉ ҉A҉M҉ ҉A҉ ҉B҉E҉I҉N҉G҉ ҉ O҉F҉ ҉P҉U҉R҉E҉ ҉E҉N҉E҉R҉G҉Y҉
Ice-T: What the...? Ice Cube: I don't know, man, I didn't invite them. Vanilla Ice: Hey, fellas! Meet my new bud-- Italian Ices: YO THE MOON IS GONNA HIT YOU, HIT YOU IN THE EYE! CHECK OUT MY PIZZA WHILE MY DJ MAKES PIE! ICE ICE AMORE!
nobody except me understands, or is capable of understanding, the complex psychological machinations of my dog's personality. only me.
him: don't cry over spilled milk, man me: [crying over the nesquik bunny's corpse]
I think I ghostwrote this speech
How in the world did the Roman Catholic Church receive $1.4B in PPP funds when countless small businesses were left out in the cold and ultimately were forced to shutter their doors?
“Why is the Governor’s Mansion closed...but he’s forcing our kids to go to school?” @DWUhlfelderLaw (aka the Grim Reaper) asks about @GovRonDeSantis.
For god sake wear the mask whatever other decisions you make wear a mask
Looks like Mike Pence wants to salvage his reputation for 2024: Hell to the nope salon.com/2020/07/10/loo…
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