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I know I talk nasty sometimes, but I do wish everyone has a great weekend.
My mom just downloaded Venmo and I need to ask you all for a favor. If anyone wants to help me out please Venmo @ ryan-mcclary $.01 for “drugs” or “hookers” or anything else that a mother wouldn’t want her child doing
If you’re like me you probably thought registering to vote would take too long but I promise it only takes 30 seconds and even if you don’t vote you still got one step closer this year which I’m proud of you for vote.gov
If you prefer Jim Carey over Adam Sandler you have worms for a brain
Who’s mans is this?
Why go to the gym and work for a body when I can simply wear airpods?
My favorite part about legal weed in Illinois is how stoked my mom’s friends are on Facebook
I’m in a massive game of chicken with chapstick. My lips are ridiculously chapped. I know the chapstick people want me to use chapstick so I get addicted and it makes my lips even more chapped. Hook me on it like a drug. Greatest scam ever. I won’t fall for it. #mentallytough
Damn guess almost 25 year old college grads aren’t invited to the neighbors frat party. Whatever bro consider this a a turf war and you can’t pet our 10 pound dog
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