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My dad is describing in great detail how he would kill the grinch while My mom is cooking breakfast for sixteen people.
tsa agent held up my bin and said to everyone else in line “THIS IS WHAT ALL OF YOURS SHOULD LOOK LIKE” greatest moment of my fucking life
Nate Silver wondering if he should have run 81,000 models:
"Tim Walz is folksy and has great Midwestern appeal"
The American people have spoken. It’s time to finish the job. It’s time to take Greenland.
It is my honor to inform you all that Project 2025 was real the whole time. 🇺🇸
Having my friends drop me off in the middle of the woods with only a compass 8 hours before kickoff. Lets see how much I really love football
BREAKING: Subway has called for an ‘emergency’ meeting with franchisees as sales plummet, per NYP
I remember when men were men and presidents pounded driver with reckless abandon instead of hollering about their handicaps on national television.
Jerome Powell when he finally announces his first rate cut
“Welcome back to SportsCenter Presented by ESPN Bet, for more on the Ohtani situation we go to our FanDuel MLB Insider Jeff Passan at our DraftKings Studio in Los Angeles brought to you by Caesar’s Sportsbook. Jeff, how could something like this happen?”
If you're not putting oat milk in your oatmeal then you're not oatmaxing and I don't have time for unserious people
THE NFL PLAYOFFS ARE HERE
Waking up and realizing there’s 3 straight days of NFL playoffs this weekend
hard to imagine there’ll be a better rendition of the national anthem in 2024
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