ComedyLie's profile picture. Soon ... the best and funniest tweets, facts, jokes and more in the World !!
#Contact: ComedyLieBusiness@gmail.com

Comedy Lie™

@ComedyLie

Soon ... the best and funniest tweets, facts, jokes and more in the World !! #Contact: [email protected]

I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired.


10 year olds these days have an iPhone, an iPad, a laptop and Facbeook? When I was 10, I felt cool with my new Pokemon cards.


Life is hard, it's harder if you're stupid.


When you're at someone's house? Normal people: "What a lovely house!" Me: "What's your WIFI password?"


Bitch please, my phone battery last longer than your relationships.


Now we're just somedy that you used to know

ComedyLie's tweet image. Now we're just somedy that you used to know

Me: babe, are you jealous? Her: no. Me: are you sure? Her: yes. Me: kiss me. Her: GO KISS THAT WHORE WHO LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!!!


Sadly, No matter how many times you say "okay" your parents will not stop talking.


China is only winning the Olympics because they made all the equipment...


Justin bieber tweeted 'hi' and got near enough 5000 retweets... here goes my attempt... hi


✔ ready for summer 2013.


I know 3 things on my test: 1. Name 2. Class 3. Date.


Yeah. I'm WEIRD. (W)onderful, (E)xciting, (I)nteresting, (R)eal, (D)ifferent.


Wanna get a new phone? scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ with a sharp object.


*Hiccup* *Hiccup* *Hiccup* *Hiccup* ... "Wait, I think it's over" ... *Hiccup* "FUCK!" -.-


If she is honest and open with you, wife that girl.


Calling someone fake won’t make you real.. Calling someone ugly won’t make you pretty.. Calling someone stupid won’t make you smart..


You're 13. You smoke, you're not a virgin and you wear more makeup than you do clothes. Your mom must be so proud!


If 2 witches were watching 2 watches, which witch would watch which watch?


Don't blink for 30 seconds then retweet this.


Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.