CommunityCran's profile picture. Hello and welcome to The Cran, a dive in Central Scotland. We have plenty to show you so cum in.

Cran

@CommunityCran

Hello and welcome to The Cran, a dive in Central Scotland. We have plenty to show you so cum in.

ANNUAL CRAN PICNIC FEST THIS SATURDAY! Cum down to Shaggy Park and taste some Scotch Eggs dipped in Billy's raspberry houmous! Mmmm!


An old goon has shat his pants next to Betty's Tea Room on Rhubarb Lane. He's being carted off to jail as I tweet. Steer clear of the area.


EXTRA EXTRA! CRAN ALL ABOUT IT! 63year old Cranite woman wins back the respect from her peers following 'panty dropping' incident at canal.


We've just had conformation that Cran resident Mr Plout Pepper has horsed his last babe as his wee willy has been lopped off by Mrs Pepper.


Quentin Papsmear caught making love to naked bloke in Cran Park. The trees fell at once and all pupils and nuns clocked them. #sexnaughtie


Mosey on down to your nearest scheme and you'll find Cold Cran Van, your favourite ice cream vendor. Buy a cone or a cream bag. Slurp it up.


Hey to all you bastards out there in Radio Land. Wake the fuckin hell up to Cran AM. Starts tomorrow at 3AM with blaring pipes. YAAASSSS!!!


Don't forget Take That tribute band Cran Daft are playing the Cranegie Hall on their Never Forget Tour. #crandaft #NeverForget


@AlanaDunion or BENCH PRESS BILLIE'S BODY SOIREE?


Thanks for the follows ya big bunchie clownes! We luv you all you sweet, sweet babies. Send us your CV (CRAN VITAE). #suicidechat


Michelle McManus gives us all the dry heave down at Cranquarters!


Keep your eyes peeled on X Factor tonite for Cran's very own Momma Freshie. Cranegie Hall is quiet this weekend without her dull shit tones.


"Take off your pants and pull out your tampon. Kiss me, love me, smooch my weiner" - Lads of The Cran.


There's a racist in town today. Anyone want to throw in some guesses as to what sort of stuff he has been shouting from the Cran Pedestal?


Thistle could keep up their impressive run today of always winning by at least 1 goal. #football


@AnXYZdelight Will meat ever get cheaper? I wouldn't bet on it. The steaks are too high.


Today sees Cran Thistle take on Gubett Horst's merry men Hugley Swindlers at Cranbarrie Park. Here's hoping for a 6-2 victorie! #Football


Cran reposted

@GaryLineker cum in me


Old loose cow in Hogwerth Yard refusing to go back on leash. Expect milk shortage. Penge Wiftie doing his best with hands and stray bottles.


Thistle fans bask in glory of #deadlineday transfer coups as they proclaim bitter rivals Cranley "BASK IN ONLY COWPS" i.e. recline in bins.


United States Trends

Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.