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I'll tell ya, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch
She said your dick looked like a button on a fur coat
Pass me that vodka, I need something to chase this tequila
Buddy, I'll punch your face through the back of your skull
It's pay day, shout out to all the weekend millionaires like me, who after the bar always end up with just a massive pocket full of change!
She was so hot I'd use her shit as toothpaste!
What an idiot, everybody knows cocaine is a weekend drug!
If some1 says "I don't need drugs or alcohol to have a good time, I'm high on life" punch that stupid cunt in the face until ur hand breaks
I am only a social drinker, but I talk to myself all the time
Black Friday? What about white Friday? We deserve a day too!
Make sure she's 18, you don't wanna spend the night in the crowbar hotel
You know what would help you swing that hammer? If you set your purse down!
Does anybody ever say to you "sounds like some1 has a case of the Mondays" No man, shit no man I believe you'd get your ass kicked for that
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