Discworld Out of Context
@ContextOfMagic
Sharing my favorite quotes as I finally work my way through Terry Pratchett's Discworld series
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Perspective is a lie. If I know a pond is round then why should I draw it oval? I will draw it round because round is true. Why should my brush lie to you just because my eye lies to me?
"Gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.”
"Dis is bribery, is it?” he whispered. “This is taxation,” said Glod.
The old bards said they got better as they got older, although old men tend to say this sort of thing regardless of daily experience.
"I reckons there’s hardly any difference except under the loincloth,” said Nanny. “I expect Granny knows,” said Magrat. “And she ain’t sayin’,” said Nanny. “She says it’s their business.”
"Never build a dungeon you wouldn’t be happy to spend the night in yourself,” said the Patrician.
And always wear completely clean underwear every day because you never knew when you were going to be knocked down and killed by a runaway horse and if people found you had unsatisfactory underwear on, you’d die of shame.
"We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they’re elected. Don’t you?” “Why?” “It saves time.”
"The worst part was that if you actually stopped the smiting, people wandered off & worshipped someone else. Hard to believe, isn’t it? They’d say, ‘Things were a lot better when there was more smiting,’ and, ‘If there was more smiting, it’d be a lot safer to walk the streets.'"
"It seems that if you sees evil now you have to wring your hands and say ‘oh deary me, we must debate this.’"
'Modern,’ said Granny Weatherwax, with a sniff. ‘When I was a gel, we had a lump of wax and a couple of pins and had to be content. We had to make our own enchantment in them days.’ ‘Ah, well, we’ve all passed a lot of water since then,’ said Nanny Ogg sagely. - Wyrd Sisters -
"You summoned the Watch," Carrot drew himself up proudly, "because someone's taken a book? You think that's worse than murder?" The Librarian gave him the kind of look other people would reserve for people who said things like "What's so bad about genocide?" - Guards! Guards! -
The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.
"NO, YOU CAN’T RIDE A CAT. WHO EVER HEARD OF THE DEATH OF RATS RIDING A CAT? THE DEATH OF RATS WOULD RIDE SOME KIND OF DOG."
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice." Terry Pratchett. Sourcery
'A witch ought never be frightened in the darkest forest because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.' -Terry Pratchett 🖼️Victoria Francés #DontGoIntoTheWoods
Dwarfs are very reticent about revealing their sex, which most of them don’t consider to be very important compared to things like metallurgy and hydraulics.
“Agnes who calls herself Perditax?” “Perdita X,” corrected Nanny. She at least respected anyone’s right to recreate themselves.
Colon was sulking because Vimes had forbidden him to use his bow and arrow. These weren’t encouraged in the city since the heft and throw of a longbow’s arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred yards away rather than the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.
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